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June 3

pandacows:

the pizza guy’s confusion makes this video so brilliant

(Source: adrians1, via moistpits)

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(Source: , via moistpits)

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0m:

You give me a boner
not a penis boner
but a boner in my heart
a heart on, an affection erection

(via moistpits)

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johnlockies:

things i do not understand:

  • people who sit down at concerts

(via lol-at-my--blog)

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croutoncat:

reblog if you have NEVER got a boner in ur life 

(via lol-at-my--blog)

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pierce-alexandria-with-sirens:

that-stupid-tardis-sound:

words i use in every sentence:

  • no
  • stop
  • dude
  • literally
  • like
  • seriously
  • fuck

That’s a sentence right there

(via vataytay)

June 1

theoncomingstormofgallifrey:

such-a-retardis:

catswithbenefits:

why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me 

Because rollercoasters can actually make me scream.

image

(via lovemariahx3)

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  • (A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
  • Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
  • Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
  • Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
  • Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
  • Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
  • (The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
  • Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
  • (Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
  • Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
  • Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
  • Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
  • (The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
May 31
lordblackthorn: marlybears: doyouevenheilrapunzel: modernvampies: berry968: Gentleman: Leonardo passed his umbrella to Elizabeth Debicki happy to stand in the rain as he protected her designer gown He probably doesn’t care about the gown and is just being a nice dude He’s probably doing it to get the academy to notice him and give him an Oscar 2 freaking people can fit under that umbrella. This is like Titanic all over again jesus christ. You’d think he’d want to stay dry considering he’s died in the water twice already.

lordblackthorn:

marlybears:

doyouevenheilrapunzel:

modernvampies:

berry968:

Gentleman: Leonardo passed his umbrella to Elizabeth Debicki happy to stand in the rain as he protected her designer gown

He probably doesn’t care about the gown and is just being a nice dude

He’s probably doing it to get the academy to notice him and give him an Oscar

2 freaking people can fit under that umbrella. This is like Titanic all over again jesus christ.

You’d think he’d want to stay dry considering he’s died in the water twice already.

(via nyaning)

May 27

mathmaticalkrillbits:

“No” I whisper softly as I forget to hold in ‘alt’ while reblogging

(via moistpits)